Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 11, 2019
Word: Excellent news—the meek shall inherit the earth. Dangerous information: solely after the wealthy and highly effective have sucked it dry and moved to Mars.
By the Numbers:
Days ’til Brexit kicks in: 20
Days ’til the Monarch Butterfly and Pollinator Competition in San Antonio: eight
P.c of registered voters in Fox Information polling who needed Trump impeached and eliminated in July and final week, respectively: 42%, 51%
Estimated sum of money non-profits hoovered up final yr from the highest six pharmaceutical giants, double what they took in 2015: $680 million
Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) approval within the newest PPP ballot: 22%
Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren favorability amongst registered black voters in North Carolina, based on PPP: 84%, 72%, 69%
Ocean temperature off the coast of Portland Maine: 56°
Pet Pic of the Day: And I can’t wait…
CHEERS to indicators of the looming Trumpocalypse. Let’s examine: assist for the impeachment inquiry is at a file excessive. Two of Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani’s gangster pals have been indicted yesterday. (He’ll in all probability be subsequent, which explains the sudden nationwide spike in gross sales of champagne and fireworks.) Rick Perry is the newest to get subpoenaed from Congress. Republicans in Congress have no thought what to say or do. And there is nothing shifting outdoors of the White Home today however tumbleweeds:
White Home officers near President Donald Trump are pulling off a disappearing act, remaining largely absent from public view—in the midst of the storm over impeachment. […] It is a well-worn technique within the Trump White Home: Senior officers conveniently handle to be elsewhere when main controversies engulf the constructing. The frequent absences of Jared Kushner, the Republican president’s son-in-law and senior adviser, and presidential daughter Ivanka Trump throughout moments of consequence have lengthy been a operating joke amongst their detractors. […]
The White Home didn’t reply to questions concerning the tactic Wednesday. However even after they’re in Washington, lots of the White Home’s most seen officers have been staying out of public view, letting the president’s indignant Twitter feed and his frequent commentary drive the general public dialog.
In truth, the closest factor to communication popping out of the White Home today is Melania’s regular three hours of opening and shutting the window-blind slats to spell out “Assist Me” in morse code. There, there, ma’am. You may be on a one-way helicopter experience out of there quickly sufficient.
CHEERS to this yr’s designated #1 peacemaker. The Nobel Committee’s most prestigious award was handed out as we speak, and…and…and…[the suspense is killing you, isn’t it?]…it isn’t Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. Aww, too unhealthy:
The Norwegian Nobel Committee has determined to award the Nobel Peace Prize for 2019 to Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed Ali for his efforts to realize peace and worldwide cooperation, and specifically for his decisive initiative to resolve the border battle with neighbouring Eritrea. The prize can be meant to recognise all of the stakeholders working for peace and reconciliation in Ethiopia and within the East and Northeast African areas.
One of many clear-headed world leaders. We might use extra.
When Abiy Ahmed turned Prime Minister in April 2018, he made it clear that he wished to renew peace talks with Eritrea.In shut cooperation with Isaias Afwerki, the President of Eritrea, Abiy Ahmed shortly labored out the rules of a peace settlement to finish the lengthy “no peace, no struggle” stalemate between the 2 international locations. […]
Ethiopia is Africa’s second most populous nation and has East Africa’s largest financial system. A peaceable, secure and profitable Ethiopia can have many optimistic side-effects, and can assist to strengthen fraternity amongst nations and peoples within the area.
Among the many much-bandied-about nominees (301 complete this yr) who didn’t make the minimize this yr: New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern; Brazilian indigenous chief Raoni Metuktire; and in addition me, for forging a long-lasting peace between the warring factions of pink and gray squirrels of their territorial boundary dispute between Jap Porch Roof and Western Porch Roof. (And we’ve the scars to show it.)
CHEERS to the sanctity of marriage. Completely satisfied 44th anniversary to Invoice and Hillary Clinton! In response to the Texas Faculty Board-approved Massive Pop-up Ebook of American Historical past, they obtained hitched on October 11, 1975 whereas operating from the Feds throughout a string of financial institution robberies, after which they bribed and murdered their approach to the Arkansas governor’s mansion, the place they participated in masked spouse-swapping events whereas dipping their enemies in slopgrease and feeding them to the hogs out within the again yard subsequent to their campaign-bribe money vault. Then they shot their method into the White Home, shot their method into the Clinton Basis, shot their method into the Secretary of State’s workplace, and shot their approach to the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination.
As we speak they spend most of their time capturing their method into the “10 Gadgets Or Much less” checkout on the Chappaqua Kroger with greater than 10 objects of their cart. What can we are saying? That is amore!
JEERS to the Craziest Present on Earth. Perkins! Loesch! O’Keefe! Gohmert! Gorka! Scalise! Hilarity and hijinks are on the agenda as the same old conservative rogues gallery reunites for his or her annual Values Voters Summit (motto: “Makin’ shit up since Jesus rode the dinosaurs”), which they’ve fastidiously scheduled to happen within the “Actual America,” aka the “Heartland of Coal Miner Values”aka…um…the swamp referred to as Washington, D.C. The first purpose of the summit, in addition to mega-grifting, is addressing the dual evils dealing with America as we speak: the human groin space and melanin. Here is a preview of what we are able to anticipate this yr, due to Proper Wing Watch’s analysis on the Jesus freaks who’ll be attending:
> Homosexuals are plucking youngsters out of foster care to show them into homosexuals
> America won’t ever be blessed by God till abortion is against the law
> The Structure is beneath assault and we should put it aside in any respect prices except it is inconvenient to us through which case fuck the Structure and save the Bible.
The visitor arrivals for the Values Voters Summit went easily as we speak, apart from Oliver North and his entourage, who have been briefly delayed.
> Earlier than the civil rights motion, blacks “have been godly, singing and completely satisfied.”
> Hurricanes are God’s revenge on those that don’t preserve their groin space encased in concrete
> LGBT rights are fascism
> Liberals are in league with Devil and his groin space
> Marriage equality is a totally-not-erotic “fist of defiance” in God’s groin space…er, face.
> Individuals of coloration is “an ideological time period to demonize white folks.”
> The Pope is a secret Muslim who’s hiding ISIS leaders in Vatican catacombs
Tomorrow night time false prophet Donald Trump will shuffle to the rostrum and discuss by his ice cream gap whereas flashing the ‘white energy’ image each 5 seconds. As a result of if there’s one type of one who needs to be revered by this god-fearing, take-the-Bible-literally crowd, it’s a false-witness-bearing, thieving, money-changing, adulterous false prophet who maintains a gold palace in liberal cesspool New York Metropolis and steals from the poor.
P.S. What do the female and male hookers in DC name the Values Voters Summiteers? Dependable clients however awful tippers.
CHEERS to Coming Out Day. As we speak is the 31st annual reminder to the LGBT motion and the world at massive that equality is a numbers sport: the extra we come out, the extra society—together with the Every day Kos group, ya large lovable lugs—acknowledges us, helps us, and advocates on our behalf in direction of the purpose of full equality.
General, even within the period of Trump and his red-capped cult, it is simpler and safer to return out than it was when my closet door lastly swung open—that was 1991 after I was 27 and couldn’t stand one other minute of taking part in the Oscar-winning position of perpetual workaholic to justify to my household and pals my complete lack of a love life. Coming Out Day for me can be a time to acknowledge and specific off-the-charts gratitude to the brave LGBT pioneers who lived overtly in earlier and far more hostile a long time. We stand on their shoulders. No one mentioned it higher than good outdated Harvey Milk:
“Homosexual brothers and sisters, you will need to come out. Come out to your dad and mom … Come out to your relations. Come out to your pals, if certainly they’re your pals. Come out to your neighbors, to your fellow staff, to the individuals who work the place you eat and store. Come out solely to the folks you understand, and who know you. … However as soon as and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. To your sake. For his or her sake.”
…and on your free toaster oven.
CHEERS to nice performances. On tomorrow’s date in 1960, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went ballistic on the United Nations, took off his shoe and pounded it on his desk. Two phrases: mosquito…useless.
CHEERS to residence vegetation. Listed below are just a few tidbits on the TV schedule for the weekend. As all the time, Chris Hayes (now with a stay viewers on Fridays), Rachel Maddow, and Lawrence O’Donnell choose up the Friday information dump items and put ’em again collectively.
This weekend on HGTV.
On HBO’s Actual Time at 10, Invoice Maher talks with Senator And 2020 candidate Amy Klobuchar, plus Howard Stern, Ben Domenech, John Heilemann, and Vice Information’ Shauna Thomas. New residence video releases embrace the pointless sequel to the pointless remake of Shaft, and never a lot else. The baseball schedule is right here. (To get you caught up on the place issues stand: the Boston Pink Sox are the present World Sequence Champions.) The NFL schedule is right here, and the NHL schedule is right here. David Harbour (Stranger Issues) hosts SNL. On 60 Minutes: the Hong Kong protests, the Nobel peace Prize, and the facility of magic mushrooms to treatment what ails ya. Chief Wiggum has a troublesome case to crack on The Simpsons and Stewie competes within the Toddler Video games on Household Man. And in a season that by no means appears to finish (that is not a criticism), John Oliver uncorks one other high-quality version of HBO’s Final Week Tonight Sunday at 11. You could guzzle at will.
Now here is your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Former Secretary of Protection Jim Mattis; Rep. Eliot Engel (D-NY); Sen. Rand Paul (R-Gimmetarianville);
Or you may simply comply with their lead and sleep in late.
Face the Nation: Malicious Captain Kangaroo; Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL); the Republican senator from Texas whose dad shot JFK; new battleground monitoring polls; additionally our Secretary of Protection, whoever the hell he’s.
This Week: TBA
CNN’s State of the Union: Mayor Pete! Plus Rep. Anthony Brown (D-MD), DNC communications director Xochitl Hinojosa.
Fox GOP Speaking Factors Sunday: Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); additionally our Secretary of Protection, whoever the blazes he’s.
Completely satisfied viewing!
Ten years in the past in C&J: October 11, 2009
CHEERS to America’s Massive Homosexual Weekend! Saturday night time President Obama delivered an important, if timeline-less, speech on the Human Rights Marketing campaign’s annual gathering. In the meantime, utilizing the teabaggers’ personal crowd-measurement requirements, over 20 million folks turned out for the large homosexual March for Equality. (Americablog has a picture diary right here.) The indicators have been spelled appropriately; there have been no Hitler references or calls to overthrow the federal government; the checklist of grievances and calls for was clear, particular and cheap; the march was fueled by love of nation as an alternative of hatred; and there was no cable information community organizing them and bodily stage-managing the occasion. Or, as the normal media calls it: borrrrring….
And only one extra…
CHEERS to fabulous first women. As we speak is Eleanor Roosevelt’s 135th birthday. Like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama, she did not confine herself to choosing out White Home china patterns, particularly when it got here to girls’s rights:
She held the primary women-only press convention on the White Home in 1933.
Eleanor gee I feel you are swell
And you actually did us effectively
You are our pleasure and pleasure et cetera
Her 6-day per week syndicated column, My Day, inspired girls to “turn out to be extra acutely aware of themselves as girls and of their capacity to operate as a gaggle. On the similar time they have to attempt to wipe from males’s consciousness the necessity to contemplate them as a gaggle or as girls of their on a regular basis actions, particularly as staff in trade or the professions.” And in 1939, when black singer Marian Anderson was denied the appropriate to carry out at Structure Corridor by the Daughters of the Revolution, Eleanor resigned from the group and helped organize a live performance on the Lincoln Memorial.
And this from a dialogue of the 1946 proposed Assertion of Objective of the U.N. Subcommittee on the Standing of Ladies:
Whereas freedom and equality are important to human growth and whereas girl is as a lot a human being as man and due to this fact entitled to share with him;
Proofing the Common Declaration of Human Rights.
We imagine that the well-being and progress of society rely upon the extent to which each women and men are capable of develop their full character and are cognizant of their obligations to themselves and to others, and we imagine that girl has thus a particular position to play within the constructing of a high-quality, wholesome,affluent and ethical society and that she will fulfill this obligation solely as a free and accountable member.
Due to this fact, be it resolved that the aim of the subcommission is to boost the standing of ladies to equality with males in all fields of human endeavor.
In the long run, Roosevelt—whose picture will grace the revamped $5 invoice nearly the second mega-misogynist Trump and his Treasury stooge Steve Mnuchin depart workplace—marveled that “I turned extra of a feminist than I ever imagined.” The world is a greater place for it. Pay your respects right here. In her honor, tonight the whole lot within the C&J cafeteria is slathered in Good Luck Margarine. It is what I’ve unfold on my sweet corn; I completely get pleasure from it.
Have an important weekend. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about as we speak?